This article first appeared in the Wiltshire Gazette & Herald in early February 2014.
A love story
Today mum Liz Badcock is a loving mother, doting wife and fledgling entrepreneur.
As she turns 40 this year and enjoys watching her 20-month-old son Harry grow up – she knows she’s lucky to have him, her husband Phil or her new business as a weight consultant.
Liz, who lives near Chippenham, is a recovering addict. She’s spent 20 years battling alcohol and drug dependency, a problem which began in her early teens.
“I had a lovely childhood,” Liz told me. “I’ve got loving parents who have always done everything they can to support me. I cannot, in any way, say that I wasn’t loved at home.
“However, I was always a needy child who craved attention. I grew up well before my time and at 14 I was out clubbing and drinking and getting a lot of male attention.
“Most of my early teens were relationship after relationship, getting used for sex, getting drunk and taking ecstasy and cocaine. I got engaged at an early age, cheated, drank heavily and was never happy.
“By the age of 21 I went from one abusive relationship to another, taking drugs and alcohol to numb the pain and resentment towards myself for putting up with it.”
Liz began a cycle of heavy drink and drug use alongside self-harm and many related issues. Even when she met her husband Phil, who comes from Swindon, she was unable to deal with her various addictions.
“We married on August 29 2003. I drank all day and stayed up until 4am , then I began to drink whisky. On our honeymoon I drank vodka and orange every day trying but failing to disguise it. When we got back my husband insisted that I see a doctor and they diagnosed me with depression and anxiety.”
A partial recovery began with Liz becoming dry for a few years and she began dealing with her weight problem, losing seven stones in six months.
“However I was taking huge does of valium each day to help me diet and smoked very heavily.
“I was sober until December 2007 but things were no better really.
“My doctor stopped prescribing me valium so I took out loans and credit cards and sat at home while my husband was at work, ordering pills from the internet. The amounts were huge when I finally went into rehab in 2008 I’d spent £57,000 on drugs and alcohol.”
During this period of time, Liz and Phil had tried for a baby through IVF with no success. This failure led to a suicide attempt, more attempts at rehab treatment and various relapses into addiction.
Husband Phil stuck by Liz throughout always believing she could change her behaviour.
“Lots of our relationship I was either drunk or high on valium. He always supported me and he’s always been strong. I don’t know, if the boot had been on the other foot, whether I would have been strong enough to support him if he’d been an addict.”
Then in September 2011, something fundamental changed in Liz and Phil’s lives.
Liz said: “I went to the doctor’s after another binge and told her I was late for my monthly, believing this was due to the alcohol abuse. She said I should do a pregnancy test which I thought was a joke. I did the test and found I was pregnant.
“I knew I had to give up the valium, the alcohol and smoking and I also wanted to lose weight once the baby was born. I tried to make amends with all of the people I had hurt and I promised myself I would do right by my unborn child and felt that this was a miracle and a blessing. I quit everything. Harry saved my life.”
Being a recovering addict and being pregnant isn’t an ideal combination. Liz knew that her history could affect Harry in the womb.
“I knew due to my lifestyle that Harry could be at risk. In the early months I had a scan every month as there was a chance that Harry could be very small. At my 20 week scan, it was clear that everything was fine and that he was looking healthy. In fact I then had to have scans to ensure he didn’t grow too big so that I could deliver him safely.”
Harry was born in June 2012 weighing in at 9lbs 11oz. However, Harry wasn’t the only one who was heavy. By the time of his birth, Liz weighed 22 stone and, even after having her son, she still tipped the scales at over 17 stones.
“I knew I had to do something about it so I went back to the Cambridge Diet plan which had worked for me before. However this time, I was going to approach it differently. No drugs this time.
“Now I’m down to 12 stones and will soon fit into size 12 clothing. I’ve still got some way to go but I’m on healthier journey.”
In fact, Liz has now become a weight consultant herself and she’ll be opening her own Cambridge Diet business at Body & Soul in Corsham, Wiltshire at the end of March.
“As I face my 40th birthday, believe me my life looks a lot different. I’ve learned to love myself and I’ve come to believe I am a good person. I know life is to be enjoyed and people deserve love and respect.
“I’m now in a position where I can go into a pub with my friends – something I’ve never achieved before – and it doesn’t matter that I don’t have an alcoholic drink, I don’t even want one. I used to envy people and now I just think why would I have a drink? Why would I ruin everything? I’ve got a great husband and a happy, healthy child.”
This article was first published in January 2014 in the Wiltshire Gazette & Herald.
Grandparents Bruce and Bev Bodio are on a mission to help expectant mums deal with difficult pregnancies.
The couple, who live in Stockwood Road, Devizes, were so inspired by an invention which helped their daughter-in-law Carrie, that they’ve turned her story into a business venture.
Carrie, who’s 43, gave birth last year to her daughter Evie after going through a pregnancy which almost crippled her.
“When I had my older daughter Millie ten years ago, I developed a hernia. These can cause problems for pregnant women in varying degrees. Basically it causes aching, a dragging sensation, stinging and can be agony when you are on your feet for any period of time.
“With Millie, it was there and it was achy but it was manageable. However, when I became pregnant with Evie the weakness was already established and things became much, much worse.”
During the second trimester of the pregnancy, the hernia in Carrie’s abdomen got bigger and caused constant pain which restricted her movements.
“Very quickly, I was so debilitated I couldn’t even stand to make a cup of tea. I couldn’t go shopping or do anything without holding my abdomen to relieve the pressure. The only relief was to sit down all of the time.
“I ended up going to the hospital and was told that I would need surgery once the baby was born and I just had to put up with it. They wouldn’t do anything during the pregnancy because of the risk to the baby.”
Various aids exist in the UK to help women with pelvic, hernia or back pain during pregnancy but for Carrie, they didn’t work.
“I looked and tried the belts on the market and found they were expensive, ugly, huge bands which were uncomfortable, unsightly and they didn’t work for me. I wouldn’t have been able to wear them with leggings or nice clothes.”
Carrie tried several do-it-yourself attempts to support the hernia, including wrapping a coat belt around her abdomen so she could go out. Nothing worked for any length of time.
“Eventually, I gave up and did some research online to try to find something which was more suitable.”
That research led her to contact an American mum, Caroline Christensen, who also suffered hernia problems during her pregnancy. Like Carrie, she couldn’t find any product on the market which worked – so she designed her own.
Carrie said: “She told me she’d love to sell in the UK but didn’t have any idea how to do it and the cost of buying a single item and having it delivered here pushed up the cost.
“I was so desperate to get something which worked – but there was always the risk that it would be a waste of money. For most people when they are having a baby, they don’t have money to throw away.”
Carrie took a chance and received the product known as the Baby Belly Band. She also told her family about it.
“Within minutes of putting it on, I felt like a different person. I felt secure, it’s flexible and I knew it couldn’t hurt the baby as it’s soft and stretchy. Overnight my life was transformed. I could wear leggings and nice clothes without worrying that everyone could see I was wearing a ‘hernia aid’.
“I’m not one to bang on about this or that wonder product but this simple invention gave me such freedom.”
Unbeknown to Carrie, her finding the Baby Belly Band was only the start of this story.
Mother-in-law Bev said: “I decided to look into the product and do some research. To see the transformation in Carrie who was finding it difficult to stand or walk, made me realize that we had to do something to get this out to other women affected by hernias.
“Women with these problems can face months of discomfort, worry and stress which is just not healthy for them or their babies.”
Bruce said: “I’ve been self-employed for 20 years and am a specialist in helping companies sell their products internationally. This is my area of expertise. Carrie knew I did something to do with distribution and mentioned the belly band to me, but that was it.
“I just couldn’t believe that one day she couldn’t even make herself a cup of tea and the next day she was able to go shopping in Bristol.”
For information on the Baby Belly Band, which is licensed as a medical product, visit www.babybellyband.tel
Midwife care is the talk on the BBC today – which just throws up the whole issue of having a baby and the medical care that surrounds those nine months.
What was hospital care like when you had your little one?
I’ve got three children and there’s six years between child 2 and 3 – and I found it amazing how much care had changed in those few years.
I have a medical condition which means that during the latter stages of pregnancy, I needed to be monitored constantly at the local hospital in Swindon so moved out of the GP’s care from about week 28.
Up to then I found the care to be fine, no worries at all and things went on well. In fact when I came under the care of the hospital, it just got to be a bit boring to continually be traipsing up and down to the hospital and spending three weeks trying to find a parking space. But again the care was wonderful.
Having my son was fine, the labour ward was caring and provided the one-to-one care I needed – in fact I’d go further. I had a big bleed after his birth and the team saved my life by acting instantly to sort me out. (no more babies for me then)
What was interesting was the after care this time.
I was put in a ward with one other mum, and we were told we’d been put there because we had multiple children so we could get on with it.
This was fine for most of the time but not at meal-times.
Meals were not brought around to your bed any more – you had to go into the corridor and queue up near a hot food dispenser to collect your meal.
This is fine if you can walk easily (often not the case if you’ve just had a baby) and if you are not breast-feeding.
On one occasion, as I was doing the latter, I asked the nurse to bring me my food. She agreed and turned up with my meal two hours later. It was completely inedible and that’s not funny when you’ve just had a baby. Luckily my lovely hubby, who spent every available minute with me, went out and bought me food.
Apart from that I saw no staff at all unless I went out and found them, we were left completely alone. In the end we developed a rota where we’d look after each other’s baby while the other went to the toilet, had a bath etc.
I also asked once if someone could come and remind me how to bath a new baby (it had been six years). That did happen but it took hours.
Bizarrely alongside this do-it-yourself care, the doctor who had deal with me after a traumatic bleed, came to see me each day of the four days I was in hospital to see how I was – I kept thinking that it must have been worse than I’d realised.
So for me, it wasn’t the mid-wife or the emergency care – it was the basic needs in the post-natal ward that were sadly lacking.
That was four years ago, I hope women in Swindon are receiving a more rounded care package now – especially if it’s your first baby when you just feel all at sea.